F*ck Me: A Memoir

      “T.B. fitted the first supple, black fabric cuff around my right ankle, carefully folding the Velcro over itself to form an unyielding, yet comfortable hold. Then he wrapped a second cuff around my left ankle. He continued to arrange my body to his liking. My slender legs bent under me as I knelt before him in a tight, black mini-dress, one shoulder strap fallen to reveal the backless, black, lacy teddy clinging to my body. “My reddened and stinging buttocks, having been well-attended to minutes earlier by hand and paddle, rested gently on my heels. My knees enjoyed the sensation of the plush grey carpet beneath us. I held my wrists behind my back. The metal ring harness connecting the four tight cuffs didn’t allow for any other position. My partner continued to painstakingly affix the Neoprene restraints to my delicate wrists just so. When it was done, I was pleasantly surprised at how at ease I felt, how comfortable I was in the forced position of this new...

One of the most frequent questions I get – and I mean that in the sense of critical, judgmental, eyebrows-raised questioning – is how long I plan to keep “just dating” and not "settle down". This is asked by well-meaning friends, family members and acquaintances, most of whom are married or trying to be, and all of whom truly believe that once I’m in a partnership, I’ll be a more complete person. I can’t stress how infuriating it is to hear this over and over; how dull it is to repeat, broken-record-like, the same answer: I don’t know that I’ll ever want to “settle down” again. Here’s the thing – I’m ALREADY complete. I have an amazing life! I have three healthy, gorgeous, intelligent, unique children with whom I have incredible relationships. I have two adorable dogs. I own my own house. I have degrees and certifications in various areas of education and women’s health, and continue to augment my self-education on these topics on a regular basis. I travel the US and ...