On Chemistry

 

I recently posted a poll for my followers on Instagram asking what element of a first date guarantees a second. I offered options such as: compatible lifestyles, things in common, great conversation, similar values and upbringings, and more. I mean, those are factors we all claim we prioritize in choosing a partner, right?

Well, the overwhelming response was none of the above. In a nearly unanimous vote, chemistry won as the most crucial factor in deciding if someone is datable or not.

So, let’s talk about chemistry. What is ‘chemistry’?

Some might say it has to do with physical attraction, but I disagree.  We’ve all had that experience when we’ve been almost unwillingly and irresistibly attracted to someone we wouldn’t ordinarily call ‘beautiful’ or ‘handsome’. But it’s there, we can’t ignore it, and it compels us to get closer.

Yes, chemistry is so much more than good looks. It’s unique and undeniable; it’s seductive, intriguing and powerful, and full of overwhelming pheromones. It’s a shorthand to your mind and heart. It’s the feeling that someone is looking into your brain and pulling the words directly out of your thoughts, emotions directly out of your soul. It's finding a rare puzzle piece that clicks in perfectly with yours.

While chemistry is somewhat difficult to define, it’s extremely easy to identify: the sudden sweating, or smiling uncontrollably, your heart beating faster or your skin prickling with goosebumps from even the tiniest glance, word or touch of the person with whom you have this incredible connection.

There is a reason they call it “chemistry” after all… it's electric.

Well, if we think about “chemistry” as described above… it’s no surprise that it was the number one deciding factor of wanting to date someone.

So, the only question we’re left with now - in a world of dating apps and online connections – is just how to identify such chemistry before meeting someone…

If anyone has an answer to that, I’m all ears!

 

Read all about the chemistry – or lack thereof – I’ve experienced on my post-divorce dating journey in my upcoming memoir F*ck Me:A Memoir.

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