"Do I really want to be 'sex mom?'" I asked my therapist when I'd completed writing my memoir . She laughed. "Sure, why not?" "Because... well, because... do I wanna be 'sex mom?'" "First of all, you don't know that you'll be 'sex mom' because of your book. And even if you are, so what?" she challenged. "One book, one act, one nickname doesn't stick with you forever... When you're done being 'sex mom' you can be someone else. Anyone you want to be." It was a powerful statement - we can be anyone we want to be at any time, regardless of our past. Powerful. True, even. But not completely helping to quell my fears... My anxiety wasn't just about a nickname, obviously. It was about my identity and the way I presented myself to the world; it was about what people would think of me. Which was ironic, of course, as the core message of my book is about how I learned to be true to ...
Excerpt from: F*ck Me: A Memoir Introduction W hen I split with my husband in the fall of 2019, I came to terms with the fact that I’d possibly never fall in love again, never have a romantic relationship again, or ever even have sex again. To move forward, I had to be OK with that. I had to believe that my life would still be better. At that point, I’d forgotten how important intimacy was for the body and soul, how important physical affection was to my personal well-being and happiness. And it certainly didn’t occur to me that sexual fulfillment would make the difference between me being just a mother and me being a woman . To say that sex was the last thing on my mind is an understatement. Those first few years following my separation were decidedly the worst of my life. Apart from the ugly, drawn-out divorce taking place, I was also grieving the recent passing of my father and dealing with his messy est...
It seems an obvious topic to write a blog post about being single… but the longer I boldly brandish this title (as a woman, as a woman over forty, as a single mom), the more deeply I realize it is as taboo a topic as any other I’ve covered. Why is that? From what I can tell being single these last five years, there a few common responses to announcing this status: You obviously aren’t ready for a relationship yet. When are you going to finally settle down again? How are you meeting people? In other words, most people assume that singlehood is both a temporary condition and an unwelcome one. Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but plenty of people are single by choice . No, seriously. It’s not because we’re broken, it’s not because we’ve been searching frantically and haven’t found ‘the one,’ it’s not because we’re cynical and believe love is dead… for many of us it’s simply the best of all possible options. Maybe for now. Maybe temporarily. Or maybe forever. I'm not sur...
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